Recovery is: True, naked, and transparent honesty.

The truth is excrutiating, but the truth will make us whole again.

Whatever it is that pulls us in different directions fragmenting our spirit and our character prevents us from becoming whole. Whether it be lying about your drinking, your thoughts of drinking becoming more and more consistant, or knowing deep down you just can’t throw away that last bottle. Our thoughts become our actions, our actions define us, said some really really smart guy once. Justification and lies hold us in place to make the same mistakes over and over again and losing ourselves in the act.

The act, you know, the I’m fine act. The I’m sober act. The I’ve got this act.

Our fragmented selves are trying to adapt to what every situation entails. This has to be the worst place for a human being to remain. A slave to their addictions and their fears. When we are so misaligned within ourselves, we do so many things that we wouldn’t ordinarily do. We become so used to justifying our own behavior in our heads to avoid the treacherous wounds of reality. A framented self can’t trust themselves. The fragmented self wants to deaden the pain, forget it, create drama around them so they can distance themselves from the hurricane building inside of them. A fragmented self is incapable of consistantly alligning words with action. I’ve even spoke with some that felt that lying was a necessary means to an end. Managing to make life work whilst standing knee deep in your own bullshit. It is the human condition. Ultimately YOU, and only YOU know the reality of the choices that brought you here. Nothing is going to change those choices. You don’t have to be those choices. You can take off from here. Leave it, and once again revive the character and integrity that once defined you.

The splitting and sharp edges created from this multidimensional separation of body and spirit encourages a sort of disassociation within themselves and the world around them. This whirlwind of spiritual and emotional suffocation and instibility will no doubt create more self hate, more self doubt, more fear, more projection and distrust of those around them. As you take that first step to realign yourself with who you desire to become and begin to act on these positive milstones, the invisible line separating your true self, and the reality of the world around you will start to fade. The strength builds on itself. If you stay consistant in your efforts and truly hold fast to your values and your goals, each day you will bloom another beautiful blossom of integrity.

Becoming in sync with the world around you. This really does seem like one of those expressions that some peace loving buddha would whisper into the breeze as his followers meditate in front of him. What does this even mean, though? Becoming aligned with the world around you is more of a constant state of being rather than just an action. When you are in a state of need, in a panic, in dispair, you must do your best to refocus on the present. When you are in alignment with the world around you, you become an unstoppable force of attraction. I have seen this in myself recently. I was feeling so good, so positive, so in love with where I am. Things began to shift. The better care I took of myself, and the more time I invested in what’s important to me. Things began to be “coincidentally”falling into place. I considered it to be synchronicity.

One of the first ways to become more aligned with your surroundings is to proactively find something to be grateful for. Notice miracles, notice the beauty that surrounds you. The universe emits the hightest frequency of love. As you express gratitude you quickly raise your vibrational frequency to that of the universe.

I personally become emotionally congested. I feel like anger and sadness linger in my chest, my guts, and my jaw. This can lead me to a downward spiral. All it takes is one feel-good moment to stop the momentum and change your energy. What brings you joy? The smell of cookies? Playing with your pup? Watching your baby sleep? Talking to your mother? What ever it is that might bring you a head change just for a moment will bring you back down to the earthy ground at your feet.

Be easy with yourself. It amazes me how horrible I can talk to myself in a negative situation. As soon as I start letting that seep in, I have to go into self protective mode. I cannot risk losing myself again. These thoughts are fear, they are human, they are anxiety. The encumber us all from time to time, and sometimes they can even be dibiltating. Forgive yourself for being human, and try again.

Shift your energy from fear to love.

What does that mean to you?

In the midst of all of this, the goal is to be true to yourself. Enrich your spirit. Feel your journey. Feel the world under your feet and the miracles all around you. Do not let anything dull your zest for life. It is too precious. It is too short. And YOU ARE ENOUGH.

“Integrity is choosing courage over comfort; choosing what is right over what is fun, fast, or easy; and choosing to practice our values rather than simply professing them”

Brene’ Brown

Recovery is: The path of least resistance.

It’s painful to watch others on the cyclic pattern that causes so much stress on the mind, body and spirit. Everyhing about alcohol is instinctually toxic. The first taste, the amount of “aquiring” it takes (or mixing) to make this poison palatable, the complete loss of inhibitons that are there to keep us safe, the hangover and complete shame in letting yourself go, at least, from what you remember. Why do we do this to ourselves? Why do we believe that by taking away alcohol, we will then be doomed to live an unfullfilled life? Why is the idea that we have anything to recover from a strike to our own ego? Why is the idea of recovery so overwelming?

Have you ever mentioned rearranging the furniture, and get a sigh and mutter from your domestic partner? Then, you take action, you get it done, and the partner loves it and can’t believe it was possible? Yes? I feel in one way or another, we have all been in a situation like this. Change is scary. Change creates anxiety. Change also has an adjustment period. Change is needed when all the ways of the past no longer work. Change is humbling. Change is the path that leads to the unknown. One thing in this life is for certain, things change whether you want them to or not. The world around and inside of you is constantly in a state of flux. This fact can be harnessed and change can go in the direction we want it to. It is an opportunity to start right now, You are constantly becoming, so what will you become?

“Just when the caterpillar thought it’s life was over, it became a butterfly.”

The unknown is a mythical abyss where anything is possible. You could say this to someone that has stumbled and given up on recovery and it might be a phrase that raises fear, guilt and anxiety in them. However, for someone that has begun washing the dirty laundry of recovery, this can be very inspiring and gives room for hope in this human condition called life. Today I am 1 year, 9 months, 26 days, and 5 hours alcohol free. It’s not so much a marker of the beginning of the end to my toxic relationship with alcohol, as much as it is a rebirth to me. It hasn’t been easy, but I am (gratefully) here to tell you. IT IS THE PATH OF LEAST RESISTANCE.

The inner struggles of alcoholism. It’s a heavy heavy affliction. The ripple in still water. It has so many internal variables, so many external variables, all of which you have very little control over. It is true and easy enough to see that 85% of Americans include drinking in their lifestyle. One of the hardest things to do is disengage with anyone who doesn’t respect and support your process. The ripple can be a tidalwave of drama, self induced anxiety, shame and your afflicted brain telling you that when stress is a problem, drinking is the answer. On the flip side, the ripple can be one of progress, rebuilding, and the baby steps it takes to get there. IT IS THE PATH OF LEAST RESISTANCE.

The choices you make, become are who you are. This is an unfortunate truth that many of us resent. We choose to put horrible poison into our body, we are going to be affected. Alcohol hurts every part of us. I don’t mean the alcoholic that drinks to the point of inebriation. I mean any amount of alcohol is toxic to every single cell in our body. It is emotional, it is physical, it is mental. Even past the obvious choice to take the first drink, the choices made from that point on are far more likely to be made without regard to consequence. You are putting yourself and character at risk. You are more than the destructive baggage that alcohol leaves. You are more than the lack of control you have over your emotions. Do better. IT IS THE PATH OF LEAST RESISTANCE.

The path of least resistance is the physical or metaphorical pathway that provides the least resistance to forward motion by a given object or entity, among a set of alternative paths. The concept is often used to describe why an object or entity takes a given path. The way in which water flows is often given as an example for the idea.

Listen to your body:

If it feels wrong. Don’t do it.

If you are tired, rest.

If you are healing, rest.

If you are hurting, rest.

Whatever it takes to change for the better.

The anxiety will pass, even though it feels like it won’t.

The feelings will pass, but you have to be easy with yourself.

The panic will fade, you have to remember to breathe.

Whatever you decide, you have to live with yourself.

“Be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe,

no less than the trees and the stars.

In the noisy confusion of life,

keep peace in your soul.”

Max Ehrmann