It’s painful to watch others on the cyclic pattern that causes so much stress on the mind, body and spirit. Everyhing about alcohol is instinctually toxic. The first taste, the amount of “aquiring” it takes (or mixing) to make this poison palatable, the complete loss of inhibitons that are there to keep us safe, the hangover and complete shame in letting yourself go, at least, from what you remember. Why do we do this to ourselves? Why do we believe that by taking away alcohol, we will then be doomed to live an unfullfilled life? Why is the idea that we have anything to recover from a strike to our own ego? Why is the idea of recovery so overwelming?
Have you ever mentioned rearranging the furniture, and get a sigh and mutter from your domestic partner? Then, you take action, you get it done, and the partner loves it and can’t believe it was possible? Yes? I feel in one way or another, we have all been in a situation like this. Change is scary. Change creates anxiety. Change also has an adjustment period. Change is needed when all the ways of the past no longer work. Change is humbling. Change is the path that leads to the unknown. One thing in this life is for certain, things change whether you want them to or not. The world around and inside of you is constantly in a state of flux. This fact can be harnessed and change can go in the direction we want it to. It is an opportunity to start right now, You are constantly becoming, so what will you become?
The unknown is a mythical abyss where anything is possible. You could say this to someone that has stumbled and given up on recovery and it might be a phrase that raises fear, guilt and anxiety in them. However, for someone that has begun washing the dirty laundry of recovery, this can be very inspiring and gives room for hope in this human condition called life. Today I am 1 year, 9 months, 26 days, and 5 hours alcohol free. It’s not so much a marker of the beginning of the end to my toxic relationship with alcohol, as much as it is a rebirth to me. It hasn’t been easy, but I am (gratefully) here to tell you. IT IS THE PATH OF LEAST RESISTANCE.
The inner struggles of alcoholism. It’s a heavy heavy affliction. The ripple in still water. It has so many internal variables, so many external variables, all of which you have very little control over. It is true and easy enough to see that 85% of Americans include drinking in their lifestyle. One of the hardest things to do is disengage with anyone who doesn’t respect and support your process. The ripple can be a tidalwave of drama, self induced anxiety, shame and your afflicted brain telling you that when stress is a problem, drinking is the answer. On the flip side, the ripple can be one of progress, rebuilding, and the baby steps it takes to get there. IT IS THE PATH OF LEAST RESISTANCE.
The choices you make, become are who you are. This is an unfortunate truth that many of us resent. We choose to put horrible poison into our body, we are going to be affected. Alcohol hurts every part of us. I don’t mean the alcoholic that drinks to the point of inebriation. I mean any amount of alcohol is toxic to every single cell in our body. It is emotional, it is physical, it is mental. Even past the obvious choice to take the first drink, the choices made from that point on are far more likely to be made without regard to consequence. You are putting yourself and character at risk. You are more than the destructive baggage that alcohol leaves. You are more than the lack of control you have over your emotions. Do better. IT IS THE PATH OF LEAST RESISTANCE.
The path of least resistance is the physical or metaphorical pathway that provides the least resistance to forward motion by a given object or entity, among a set of alternative paths. The concept is often used to describe why an object or entity takes a given path. The way in which water flows is often given as an example for the idea. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Path_of_least_resistance
Listen to your body:
If it feels wrong. Don’t do it.
If you are tired, rest.
If you are healing, rest.
If you are hurting, rest.
Whatever it takes to change for the better.
The anxiety will pass, even though it feels like it won’t.
The feelings will pass, but you have to be easy with yourself.
The panic will fade, you have to remember to breathe.
Whatever you decide, you have to live with yourself.
“Be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars.
In the noisy confusion of life,
keep peace in your soul.”Max Ehrmann